Skip to main content

The Other Side Of The Story


Submitted by Guest on Fri, 2014-08-22 12:26

- STORIES FROM MAAI MAHIU, KENYA -

Staff Member Profile: The Journey to Empowerment of Emily Wairimu (Kenya Health Director)

It is quite heartbreaking, disastrous and catastrophic when a spouse becomes estranged, detaches himself from family life and diverts his mind, support and resources to a fellow commercial sex worker! Many have just known the joyous part of my services to the community that I passionately serve, transforming other`s lives through the health department at CTC International. I humbly wish to share this, the other side of my story, which could have ended tragically but with support from colleagues (included here is CTC International US and Kenya), hard work, patience and a continuous search for interventions and solutions, it has turned out a story of success and hope! 

The challenges I went through have given me the ability to assist others to overcome, and the stones thrown at me have been used to construct a strong foundation of my own achievements and my family`s comfort and assurance. Searching to heal my own wounds gave me the ability to assist others in finding a salve for their woes. Now, I hope that my story will also serve as encouragement to others out there going through hard times-STAND FIRM AND NO RETREAT, NO SURRENDER!

 

It was like living a nightmare when my husband deserted our family. He left me with the children, with no stable employment, and in a living structure that I was afraid to call home, all while I struggled with my own health. Everyone around us was talking. Young men afraid that their wives would be lured to leave them, fathers fearing sons might be misguided, women fearing I might revenge and take their spouses while others felt I would borrow never to repay. My family name and reputation were tainted! 

Support from friends and neighbors quickly faded and dust was the only guest in our shed. Financial security was a steady issue as I tackled the responsibilities of caring for my family alone and my ex-husband was forced to sell off whatever he could to fulfill his new woman’s endless list of wants.

I had to face life as a single parent with no identity (never actually married, separated, divorced or widowed). I was susceptible to any lies or insults my estranged spouse would spread, a weapon used to force me out of our home. Life was uncomfortable for me while they lived in a rented posh house in town, but I also knew that level of comfort was not sustainable for our family yet - forgoing short-time comfort for the real thing. As in a game of cards, “you’ve got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em, know when to walk away, know when to run, you never count your money when you’re sitting at the table.  There`ll be time enough for counting, when the dealing is done.”

I patiently handled the issues as they came, sought timely sustainable interventions and occupied the gap left empty by being closer to my kids. I had to marshal my forces and husband my mere resources to bring positive change in all dimensions of my life, fighting for my rights and those of my children. It has been a long and strenuous journey but things have changed drastically.

 

Today, I am living in a secured compound, a dust free house, enjoying life especially with my son who is my best friend. We have animals in our compound (sheep, goats, rabbits, chicken, ducks and dairy goats), we keep a healthy garden with oranges, paw paws, passion fruits and avocados. There is electricity so we can conveniently light the house and outside, watch movies, listen to cool music comfortably and charge our phones.

My reputation is rescued and I am an empowered member of our community. Some who pointed a finger now flow in for consult, others who discussed my situation behind closed doors now come openly with their friends and family for advice or referrals. This goes hand in hand with what I do for the community.

 

All the while, I ensure that I engage my son in different activities and initiatives, raising a responsible gentleman. I also work hard to ensure his academic success, his access to excellent nutrition, his overall tidiness and the continual pursuit of his dreams. I divide my time to this important part of life while making sure that all pieces of CTC’s Health Department are running well. I am always studying new methods of intervention and ways to mobilize the community in seeking access to essential services. Through CTC I have continued to empower myself and thousands of others often in their darkest hour.

The photos have a part of the story to tell, and if you think you are reading a fairy tale story, you are welcome to testify to this at your own free and convenient time. There is still room for my continued transformation, my journey from no one to someone, from victim to victor and hopeless to admired! The same holds true for all those that I am able to serve. For those out there who think their tribulations are overwhelming, my apologies, but pioneers have gone through worse and are celebrating victory!!!!  This is a personal journey of success as written by Emily Wairimu, CTC International - Health Department.